Quotable Kids

My kids are funny, at least I think so. They are their funniest when they aren’t trying. The biggest laughs we have ever had from our boys, they were confused as to why we were laughing. Early on in Linus’s ability to speak Caleigh would hear things that he said and would write them down so she could share them with me later, this turned into a page on our notes app filled with out-of-pocket and wild things he has said over the years.

Sometimes what he says is subtle, and if you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss it. At any given moment there is some amount of noise coming out of their mouths. Most of which is just white noise. Unfortunately, it’s a product of my genetics and I am guilty of tuning it out a lot of the time. I have to call my mother on a weekly basis to apologize to her for my childhood (dramatic? Absolutely) and thanking her for loving me through it. Sometimes they are genuine comments or questions that seem to come out of left field but are very much applicable to what’s actually happening in front of him, his way of explaining the world. Kids have an entertaining way of explaining things they can’t explain and sometimes knowing exactly what the thing is but just calling it the wrong thing. When his little siblings were in utero, we heard the term “wajinga” a lot from Linus.

Herschel is funny in his own way. Since his career in the English language hasn’t been as long running as Linus’s, he has far fewer quotes. His humor is in his intensity of emotion and his attempts to physically dominate whatever it is that stands in between him and our pet tortious he loves to man handle. Linus is a little bit more thoughtful and wants to know all the information before doing anything, Herschel is a “punch first ask questions later” type and most of the time he just punches with no follow-up. I’m sure we will collect many quotable things from him in the future and I can hardly wait for him to start speaking in full sentences.

Daisy isn’t funny. She’s a baby.

For your enjoyment, here is the full list of quotes we have collected from Linus so far.

Linus: I think Buttface married Satan. 

-roughly late Feb 2023

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Linus: you’re my wife

Caleigh: no I’m not

Linus: you’re my wife, you’re my wife, you’re my wife

Caleigh: you don’t want me to be your wife, then I can’t be your mommy and daddy can’t be your dad

Linus: meh, he can be the kid

-3/10/23

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*At a friend’s house for small group and Caleigh is standing in the bathroom with Linus while he poops.*

Linus: oh, ew mommy. What’s that smell.

Caleigh: my buddy, that is you.

Linus: oh yeah! I forgot to brush my teeth when we got here.

Caleigh: we don’t usually brush our teeth at friends houses. That’s normally an at home thing

Linus: oh yeah. 

(Through a grunt) I love you mommy.

-4/19/23

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Linus: -toots a horrific toot-

Caleigh: -says nothing-

Linus: ew, what is that smell??

Caleigh: that is you

Linus: uummm I think yours nipples stink 

Caleigh: no, it’s definitely not that. 

Linus: um I think you need to make yours nipples stink less.

-5/2/23

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*Linus toots really loud*

Linus: I think an octopus pushed on my bottom and it made me toot really loud. 

-5/12/23

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Caleigh: thanks for being my adventure buddy! *having just left the store and a grad party*

Linus: Uhm . . . 

Caleigh:Uhm, what!? Do you have to think about being my adventure buddy!?

Linus: well, I am thinking that I am just not. 

-5/27/23

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Herschel: *squeak*

Linus: *sigh* My precious brother is silly

*like a minute later * . . . Now I’m a doctor who doesn’t help people. 

-8/1/23

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(Quick note about this one: we were doing a bathroom remodel so there was no door on the bathroom. I don’t usually let the kids hang out while I go to the bathroom.)

Jared: -going to the bathroom- 

Linus: your bum is so big!!

Jared: my bum actually isn’t that big buddy. It’s kinda small comparatively. 

Linus: you’re right your bum is small. This small -proceeds to point to his bum- 

Jared: yeah you’re right. 

-8/10/23

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Linus: Mom! Ethan and my dad are out there!

Caleigh: I know. They’re having some time just the two of them. 

Linus: Well, I want it to be just the three of us. 

-11/19/23

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Linus: *watching How to Train Your Dragon again* Is that a dagger?

Caleigh: Yep, it sure is. 

Linus: Hmm, is he gonna dag him!?

-1/24/24

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Caleigh: Drain the water, Buddy. 

Linus: No, it’s Brother’s turn. 

C: He’s not going this time. 

L: MoOoOoom, he popped out of yours wajinga! We need to clean him up. 

-2/14/24

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Linus: God is good to us, and you are doing bad things. He needs to die one more time for you. 

*This in response to my not letting him have his nightlight on high.*

-2/24/24

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Linus: I wish this wasn’t a poopy situation. 

Caleigh: Yeah, what happened, Buddy?

Linus: I just tooted and it just came out. 

-3/28/24

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Caleigh: Linus! Just go pee! The Lincoln logs aren’t going anywhere. 

Linus: I don’t need to pee, Mom! This is just my man hula. 

-5/29/24

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Linus: Do babies be in boxes or in bags? How do they be delivered to their mama? 

-6/19/24

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Caleigh: How many sausage links do you want Liney?

Linus: Those are called winkies.

Caleigh: okay, how many winkies do you want?

Linus: you choose.

Caleigh: okay, how about 2?

Linus: no thank you.

Caleigh: 1?

Linus: probably 

-11/9/24

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*Caleigh sitting in the little grey chair*

Linus: Ahh, what a nice chair! I think I’ll just sit down right here. *sits on mom*

*Caleigh hugs and kisses the back of his head*

*Linus flumps back a little harder*

C: Oof. You have to be gentle. I’ll throw up and your sister could be hurt. 

L: Sister!? You mean it’s a woman!?

C: Yeah, you knew this. 

L: O yeah. 

-3/22/25

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“Mama, so when it’s time, do you just go to the doctor and they push on your belly til sister shoots out your ‘gina?”

-4/12/25

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“Dad I’m so strong, I could punch you In Your penis and make it hurt really bad” *with an affirmative nod*

-4/12/25

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Talking about whether or not we would be able to kill a chicken:

Caleigh- “I think I could kill a chicken, like I could chop off its head I think.”

Linus- “I could! I would just use a sawzall”

-4/19/25

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Linus: Herschel, you are making me tired and upset that you are still crying.

-5/8/25

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Linus: “you better stop it dad or I’m going to spray PENIS on you”

-6/27/25

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Linus: (talking about sister) “there’s nothing special about this baby”

Caleigh- “what do you mean buddy?” 

Linus- “I was your ‘marriage baby’, Herschel was the ‘god put us back together baby’ there’s nothing special about this baby. 

… Oh wait! She’s our ‘we might stay together baby!”

Caleigh- “are you afraid we won’t stay together?!”

Linus- “no we will definitely stay together, that’s what makes her special!”

-7/25/25

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Linus: A long, long, long time ago there wasn’t any jails; they just shot people who needed to go to jail instead. 

-9/8/25

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Linus: I’m the boss of a camp. I’m the boss of the cook. I had to fire the cook because he made the kids water sandwiches. 

-9/9/25

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Caleigh: Linus, get over here and get that lid back on the lotion!

Linus: Mom, you should be slow to be angry. That’s what the Bible says. 

Caleigh: You’re right, but who taught you that?

Linus: You did! 

-9/20/25

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Linus: Mom, are you so freezing every night. 

Caleigh: No, not really. I’m cozy and warm almost every night. I have this  extra blanket and your Daddy. 

Linus: O, because he’s so fuzzy and soft and warm?

Caleigh: Uhm, yes . . . ?

-9/20/25

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Linus: I had a wonderful dog named Jack. He was a golden retriever, and he was so great, and he died. He was the best dog ever. Wait, what was his name again? What did I tell you his name was?

Caleigh: Jack?

Linus: Yes. Jack was so great . . . 

-9/22/25

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Caleigh: Hedgehogs would not mind their bedding poured on their heads very much. They’re diggers from Africa. 

Linus: What!? No they’re not. 

C: Yes, they are. They’re African pigmy hedgehogs. 

L: Really, where’d you buy them from? From a guy in America? 

-10/4/25

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Jared: can I have a moment with your mom??

Linus: Can I cut off your face?

-10/11/25

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*Driving to church*

Linus: There’s Miss Rachel’s old work. 

Coleman(Linus’s friend): It’s called “Goba” I think. 

Linus: Yeah, it’s where orphans can go to get coffee. 

Coleman: Yeah, that seems right. 

-11/2/25

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*after talking about body safety. (Herschel was inviting Dax to hit him in the diaper.)*

Linus: One day I was working at my smokers, and Jonathan was outside with me, and then a penis toucher walked up and tried to touch his penis. He’s in jail now. Or, I think I killed him. 

-11/20/25

Glorious Chaos

It’s been 8 years since my last post. 8 years is a long time. A lot of life to live. As it turns out, “going straight till God says turn” only works if you’re paying attention. Not long after losing sight of Gods plan do you start to believe that you have it under control all by yourself. The “I’ve got this handled” mentality happens to be the most prevalent and pervasive sin in the human species, that to which I am not immune. That is where my road to infidelity began.

I had an affair. It’s shameful for me to admit even today. I never thought I would. I looked at others who had and thought “never me, no way”. Satan can get you to do anything with enough time. The story of my affair and reconciliation is long and filled with pain and blessing. Caleigh’s hurt, growth and her incredible ability to forgive is a marvelous story all on its own and it’s hers to tell, but I will say she is the best gift God has ever given me, twice. My part in the whole mess is full of sadness and shame but also the redemption that only comes from Christ. More on that in future posts.

Before we separated we had a boy, Linus (6). After being reunited, we had another boy, Herschel (2), and a girl, Daisy (2 mo). God is good and gracious. Our life is kind of chaotic at times. Our kids have very different personalities and to seasoned parents that isn’t a surprise at all. Sure I thought they would all be different but even as an infant we already could see just how different Herschel was from his brother and for some reason it was still surprising. Linus is a smart, thoughtful helper who spews quotable sentences. My current “Linus quote” page has 30 entries. Herschel is an upbeat and opinionated bulldog who isn’t prejudiced when it comes to bullying, no one is safe. Daisy sleeps more than she is awake so at the moment she is our sweetest and both boys are crazy about her. I can’t imagine life without any of them.

Our desire to foster and adopt is still very much alive, but things have been put on hold because of our growing family. Babies are expensive, we push on. Originally, this blog was an assignment for a multimodal English class I was taking at heartland taught by Jennifer Cherry talking specifically about our journey to adoption. Going forward, I would like for it to be an outlet for my thoughts and rants about our family and things going on around us. We shall see what comes out of this.

I am grateful that you took the time to read this and I hope you’ll come back for more. Welcome to our family and this glorious chaos God has called us to.

Jared

Straight ’til God Says Turn

 

Well, we have finally decided on which type of adoption to pursue. We are looking seriously at foster-to-adopt first. We have been spending time praying about it and discussing it, and we are realizing that we already know where we want to start – here in our own country. My grandmother funded our home study, this gave us the ability to set a more serious deadline for ourselves, this January. Our thought basis for a lot of the unsure times is, “go straight ‘til God says turn.” We figure He wants us busy and is big enough to stop us if we get off track and are listening for His voice. The first time I really had to live this was in 2013.

That summer I did the scariest thing that I had ever done up to that point. I moved out. Some of you are probably thinking, “you wimp,” but at that point in my life I had never paid a water bill or done any grocery shopping of my own. More to the point I had never not lived with someone. “Alone time” is not a term used positively in my vocabulary. After a 10-day VBS trip in Romania, I was met by my parents in the church parking lot. They graciously gave me about 5 minutes to settle in before telling me excitedly that the house had sold, after only 48 hours on the market. There would be a room for me if I wanted it. Two weeks later I was living with my pastor and his wife because my parents had skipped town – at least that’s how I described it to them every time they called from then until . . . actually I still tell them that. As it turns out you are really never too old to feel at least a little abandoned by loved ones leaving. I was scared, but I knew that what I was doing was the right thing – moving forward in the relationship I had been given, in the place I’d been put. A year later I would be living in my own house and married to my best friend.

The thought was that God would prompt me to change directions if need be; I had to get moving first. When buying our home, which was and still is the most money we have ever spent, we saw this cute little house in Gridley, IL and we fell in love with it right away. Home ownership was all new to us. Unfortunately so was building credit, but we knew that if we were doing the right thing God would bless that attempt. We were able to buy on contract and refinance after just a year of building credit. God has used this home and the location to bless us a great deal. I have a nearby job, we rescued a dog, my niece has had a place to stay other than day care all summer long, a senior in need of a safe place to live while finishing high school was able to do that. None of this would have been possible from an apartment.

So as we decide what we are going to spend the next couple years starting – a family of diverse backgrounds – we want to be putting as much thought and prayer into it as possible. We are moving forward in hopes to adopt out of foster care. As I have previously said we are nervous about this option but we have felt God leading us this way for a long time through our work with local at-risk youth. We also hope very much that this isn’t the only time we will be adopting. It is just the beginning, but for now we will just be going straight ‘til God says turn.

Jared

Things to Consider

Another day full of thoughts. We are considering the options when it comes to type of adoption. We have it narrowed down to either foster-to-adopt or international. Both hold a special place in our hearts. In our youth group and in Caleigh’s school, we know quite a few children who are in the foster care system or adopted out of foster care. The backgrounds of some of these kids are appalling and then to see the impact a new family has had on some of them is an encouraging contrast. However we support a few kids through Holt International and Compassion International, and we see the state of affairs that these kids are in and also see the good things these organizations do that it moves us in that direction.

In my job, I use a welding machine 80 percent of my work day. I set my welder to whatever amperage I need to get a specific job done and each time I strike an arc it hits the same amount of amps every time. With any type of adoption this is not the case, Each child in any given situation is not the same as the next, and this is especially true with foster-to-adopt. These children who come out of a situation of constant moving and relocating may have a more difficult time adjusting to a forever family home life, which is very different from the very polar/mechanical mindset I have. We are considering this option first so that we can give any child time to adjust without the stress of other children. As soon as we feel the child as adequately adjusted we will move forward with international. We want 5 kids as our goal, although we realize that may not be Gods goal for us. Side note: we just learned about this last night at youth group. Humans have plans and God has THE plan. Anyways, if we accept a child who has some emotional or mental difficulties, it may not be a beneficial for our family to add any more children.

We are considering international adoption first because in certain places like China (which is on our list of preferred countries) they require a minimum yearly income for the family. Therefore the less kids we have when we adopt the easier it will be to fulfill this requirement. China has been on our hearts because of the way girls are treated there. We feel that any girl we can adopt from China is one less girl being treated poorly for being what God made her. We also support 2 kids from the Philippines, and we have prayed about and looked into this option. But we just keep going back to fostering. Any advice on the matter in question is welcome.

We have been thinking a lot about it and have prayed some about it too. We should be praying more though. We know God has a plan, and it could very well be that our child is living right now, just waiting. Which is an exciting thought, but also creates urgency for us. In the end though God’s timing is good timing. Just some things to consider.

Thanks for stopping by.

Jared

Getting Started

Good Evening,

As I am writing this I am glancing at the clock occasionally to see that it is getting ever so close to midnight. After the week we just had, sleep is sounding more and more wonderful with every passing minute. But then I start thinking about the week we had, staying up until midnight every night after dancing with the theater group we love so much and laughing with some of the funniest high schoolers you will ever meet. Caleigh has been directing a play that I got to help with. It was set in the 1940’s, so we had the opportunity to teach people one of the things we love doing most, swing dance. It was a little tiring at times, but as we got to know some of these kids, I realized that even though it is a christian theater group, some of them come from some tough backgrounds.

Working with youth has given me an opportunity to encounter all types of kids. Some come from great families, some not so much. This has reinforced our call to adopt time and time again. It’s a broken world we live in, God hasn’t called us to fix it, though He has called us to try.

Before Caleigh and I met, I knew I wanted to have kids. I had never considered adoption until my first missions trip to Guatemala. We stayed for 10 days at an orphanage called Eagles Nest in Solola. It was there where I was introduced to the orphan crisis in Guatemala. Then a couple years later I went on a similar trip to Ecuador. I learned the need is great.

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit the orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27

This verse is a call to action. Not everyone is called to adopt, but as Christians we are called to do something, that something for us is adoption. When I was first getting to know Caleigh, she let me know right away that adoption was something she wanted to do and I felt the same way. Just recently though, we feel that God has been nudging us closer and closer to that. He has blessed with generous family members to help get us started. We know that the road is long, but we also know that we have lots of friends and plenty of family to support us. Not to mention the large community of adoptive parents to aid us with the experience they have gained.

We are asking for prayers as we begin this journey. We have yet to decide where we will be adopting from: foster-to-adopt or international. Whatever we decide, rather what God decides, we are excited to see what He has in store for us these next couple of years, hopefully as the population of Shamblish Manor rises.

Jared

PS done before midnight!